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  • Scarlet Vexus

The Importance Of Embracing Being Different, Individualism and Being Yourself

As an industry leader of outsized individuality and influence, I tend to be viewed as a trendsetter by some of my peers and often continuously followed as a source of new ideas (not all I must emphasize - as my most respected colleagues value their own creativity in the same manner that I do). Professionals have outright told me that they routinely follow my lead and "do as I do". Unfortunately in one particularly extreme and off-putting instance, this included my day-to-day life activities, plans, hobbies, patch-writing and sometimes copy and pasting and expressing to me disliking herself so much she was physically changing herself to look more like me. It was mistaken that I would find this pleasing. It made me truly sad and I actively discourage and do not condone this. This is also my inspiration for writing this as I had seen it reach and unhealthy extent. I feel passionately that every single person should celebrate who they are and they're unique identity.

Although it is flattering to be viewed as a role model, I do not prefer the spotlight. I am more critical of myself than of anyone else. I take it in stride and share this piece of constructive criticism. By trying to be someone else one does themselves an disservice. One would be far better suited to embracing their own individuality and everything that sets them apart and makes them unique, rather than fawning over someone else's every move.

I advertise and unapologetically own this swath of influence not as a form of pure vanity, but take it as an opportunity to uplift and encourage others to develop their own originality and creativity. Inspiration is one thing, plagiarism and blatant imitation is quite another entirely. I truly believe everyone has something unique and important to bring to the world. There is only one you. There are plenty who are inspired by my work and create something completely different and unique to themselves, not simply "doing as I do" - and that is something I recognize and admire far more.

From a business standpoint their are very pragmatic and beneficial reasons to embrace creativity and kindle the desire to be different in one's business.

It aids search ranking

Google penalizes website ranking for duplicate or similar content by date of creation. Original content is a factor that moves a website farther up on the 1st page of search results.

The opposite is bad for business

Words mean more when they match presentation. When someone's content/business is not original or maybe in in extreme example copy and pasting, it gives the impression you don't care about your brand even if words state the opposite. This then reflects poorly on caring about other things such as one's training, sessions, safety protocol ect to someone viewing that persons content. You want to express you care about your business enough and are confident enough to want it to stand out and be different. This is a major factor in success. Some of the most incredibly successful Dommes I have seen have a high focused esthetic and business that propels their success.

Even if only to an extent - reputation is still important

Just as you want to feel safe and part of a community of people who you can respect and can trust, other people want to feel the same. Things such as what I describe create an environment lacking a sense of trust. People may naturally avoid an individual doing those things to protect themselves. They might wonder what else the person may be willing to do to their peers or be unethical about or wonder even if the individual may be conflict oriented and trying to start conflict with others. People make mistakes and grow from it but you don't want to be the person who becomes known for habitually doing a particular thing to step on the toes of peers or stir conflict. You don't want to express you're in the ballpark of outsiders who think this isn't a real job, that it's easy money, and requires no effort. You want to express that, just as you respect your business and the efforts put into it, that you also respect others having to do the same in the industry.

Being yourself uplifts

No individual is perfect. Sometimes there are traits an individual dislikes but might be a something that turns out people love. Words don't have to be perfect, opinions don't have to be perfect. You make mistakes. You learn and hone skills over time. In-authenticity mistreats oneself.

There are things that act as facilitators of self criticism and feeling like ones identity is "lacking". Social media for example encourages an environment where person can get wrapped up in being inauthentic to chase clout and constantly comparing themselves. These platforms are also very "reactive" (ex). A person can get stuck performing continuously trying to please an audience. Social media is designed around cheap dopamine hits that become addictive rather than sustaining over time. Everyone is advertising there best face forward and that's most of what you see. This can create unrealistic self metrics and in some people an idea they're not good enough or they're to boring or just to uninteresting or not talented enough. So the person may think they should focus on being someone they think has a better life, success, money, maybe more clients ect and by being them they will feel better. This thought process is actually based in self hatred rather than admiration. Over time this will deeply cut into a sense of confidence and harm. What's not harmful is looking at another success and believing that you are capable of reaching the same by being you.

A foundation of strong confidence, individualism and identity is important. These are the best guards against the above. From a strong foundation comes a strong long term business. Individuals will want to get to know you for you, clients and otherwise. You'll attract clients who you click with, enjoy and uplift your energy rather than drain it over time. Professional dominatrices are a group of powerful personalities and projection of power in our role. Every single person, no matter what they thinks of themselves, is capable, unique and worth celebrating for who they are. The options and combinations and unique approaches to this are endless. Self love is power.

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